The following is an article written by The Flourishing Company and featured in the  new e-zine published by the Minority Corporate Counsel Association.
  June 22, 2004                                                      Excerpt VOLUME II ISSUE III

 

In Brief

What they didn't teach you in law school
 

Part 4 of a 7 part series

The Skill of

LISTENING 

By Miriam Bamberger, CPCC and Heather Bradley, CPCC 

Listening is not evaluating, accepting or agreeing with what the speaker is saying.

   Each part in this series will introduce an important fundamental skill that every effective legal professional will need to manage complex work relationships.

We will explore each skill using The Flourishing Process -

What do you want to be different? What choices do you need to make? Get ahead.  Start using the skill.

 
Read on to learn how you can start using this skill to improve rapport and communication, leading to better decision-making.

What is the skill of Listening?
Listening is absorbing someone else's verbal cues. Listening goes beyond hearing the words of others to taking in the speaker's tone, concerns, opinions, needs and wishes.

Listening is not evaluating, accepting or agreeing with what the speakers says. In fact, doing any of those activities at the same time will inhibit listening. This skill, appropriate for improving office dialogue and rapport should not be confused with courtroom style and tactics.

What’s important about mastering the skill of Listening?
According to MCCA's groundbreaking research Creating Pathways to Diversity: From Lawyer to Business Partner (p.38), "Increasingly, CEOs expect for their general counsel and legal managers to demonstrate the ability to lead diverse and inclusive teams, both internally and externally". True listening gives you access to the ideas, perspectives and contributions of everyone on your team. It allows you to build trust across organizations, work teams and cultures.
Benefits of Listening
Listening well helps you shift your organization's culture by creating an open, learning environment that allows for the exchange of diverse ideas. In addition, listening improves rapport and communication, which leads to better decision-making.
How to Listen
Since listening occurs internally and is not observable or measurable, it's difficult to define a process of how to listen. In addition to hearing words, be aware of the following:
  • What is your perspective for this conversation and the speaker? Where is your focus? Are you taking in the speaker's information, or are you crafting your response?
  • What signals are you picking up (tone, body language, engagement)?
  • What impact is your behavior/reaction having on the speaker?

Examples of Listening
As noted, listening isn't observable, but its impact is. Think of Linus and Schroeder in the Peanuts comic strip.

Linus consistently absorbs what others are saying. As a result, other characters talk openly with him and are willing to discuss a wide range of topics.

By contrast, Schroeder appears to hear words, but not take in much else. Particularly when he is at the piano, other signals seem to bounce off his eardrums. Conversations with him are usually short and one-sided.

 
Choosing to listen means committing to stop doing the things that prevent listening, like evaluating or answering--in your head or out loud, while listening. Choosing to listen means committing to being open rather than being "right".

Ask yourself

  • What will I have to say "yes" to become a good listener?
  • What will I have to say "no" to become a good listener?

Complete this sentence:
Today I choose _____________________.

    Example:
    Today I choose to open my ears before opening my mouth.
From this new perspective, with these new lenses on, what action do you need to take?
  • What will you do right now to support your decision?
  • What will you do today to support your decision?
  • What will you do by the end of the week to support your decision?
Examples:
  • Right now, I will open my ears before opening my mouth.
    • In my next meeting, I will consciously let others finish their thoughts before responding with my opinion.
    • From now on, I will consciously resist forming my response before others are finished speaking.

Recommended Reading
Getting to Yes Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton
The Inner Game of Work Timothy Gallwey
Leadership and the Art of Conversation Kim H. Krisco
The "Ins and Outs" of Managing Diversity & the Bar, November/December 2004
Co-Active Coaching Whitworth, et al
     

 

  

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